I find myself still trying to find my placing. Trying to sift out my thought and figure out just exactly where I am suppose to be and this Tuesday will mark the new beginnings of this journey. I am ready to be ripped apart and sewn back together. There are feelings of excitement, nervousness, and intimidation all in one.
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Purpose
I know there is a purpose for my l life and I know it has to be something big. There is something missing and I am not quite sure what that is. My heart yearns to find it. This is a time where I must be complacent until it is revealed to me. I have many different passions in my soul that I find myself confused. The Lord is definitely teaching me patience when it comes to the direction of where He wants me to be.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Pushing forward
Most of you know that this past year has been nothing less than a year full of hardships. However throughout the whole time I questioned if God was really with me or not. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned, is that God longs to bring light to the chaos that we may endure.
Now, I sit at a resting point. Do I take what I have learned and do nothing or do I push forward in life, continually seeking truth. Despite all bad news, difficult times, and aches in my heart, I know the good Lord is there to carry me. I am making the decision to keep going forward in life. This means seeking the truth in all aspects of my life. There is no need to be complacent and comfortable nor do I believe we are called to be.
Hebrews 13;8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Now, I sit at a resting point. Do I take what I have learned and do nothing or do I push forward in life, continually seeking truth. Despite all bad news, difficult times, and aches in my heart, I know the good Lord is there to carry me. I am making the decision to keep going forward in life. This means seeking the truth in all aspects of my life. There is no need to be complacent and comfortable nor do I believe we are called to be.
Hebrews 13;8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Rest In Peace
In this very moment I feel weak. I miss my mother a great deal. I have a feeling that things will get tougher as time goes along.
I thought i'd be opposite...
Mom I love you a great deal. I know you are in Heaven watching over me. You will be there to watch me grow up, get married, have kids, and living my life for the Lord you are in Heaven with right now.
I thought i'd be opposite...
Mom I love you a great deal. I know you are in Heaven watching over me. You will be there to watch me grow up, get married, have kids, and living my life for the Lord you are in Heaven with right now.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
This was very sweet of Tranica to write.
The Osterkamps
Someone once pointed out to me how precious stories are. They have the
power to explain decade long wars, invite friends on an enticing
journey, and even allow us momentary relief by distracting our minds
from our current reality. Through stories we can gain motivation,
inspiration, and understanding.
My life story is something that cannot be taken away from me or
revised by any one person's back space button. Through my 23 years
I've experienced laughter, joy, heartbreak, & love. Although some
seasons were harder or longer than I would have liked I can't deny
that they have shaped me into who I am today. My life has been marked
by Grace through Jesus Christ and I am believe that God the Father is
the ultimate provider and protector.
For the past seven years my life story has been enriched by my friend
Becky. She has been near during my largest loses and biggest heart
breaks. She has stood by me through the drama of high school and the
ever changing process of figuring out who I am. Despite any
geographical distance we have remained in each other's lives and are
constantly trying to reinventing ways to serve one another from afar.
Last summer Becky's mom Karen was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical
cancer. The decision was made to have Karen be on full time hospice
care. Through the many good days & many tough days the opportunity for
there to be healing and growth within Becky's relationship with her
mom was unlike any other season. Becky and her brother Kurt
volunteered to make many personal sacrifices to literally spent every
moment with their mom. Becky moved in with her mom & gradually cut
down her hours at work to the point of leaving her job last week,
all the while paying rent at her own apartment.
After months of progress and regression, tears, and sweet sweet
moments, the Lord welcomed Karen into her eternal home in Heaven this
morning. We rejoice knowing she is no longer hurting & are so excited
to think about the peace she is experiencing now.
As unimaginable as it is for folks our age, now comes the process of
experiencing her passing while figuring out final details. As a firm
believer of the encouragement and strength that is found within The
Body of Christ, this is where I'm hoping you come in. If you are one
to pray, pray. Dedicate some time to intercede on behalf of Becky &
her brother Kurt. Ask the Lord to continue to make Himself known, to
protect them in this process, and to provide anything they need from
food, to money, to encouragement.
If you live in the OC area I'd love if you'd join me to contribute by
cooking a meal or two. Below you will find the link to a website
called FoodTidings. I am hoping to cover the next month's food for
Becky & Kurt & I cannot do it without you. It doesn't have to be
anything fancy or even home cooked because any little thing helps.
(copy and paste url)
http://www.foodtidings.com/SignUp.aspx?ScheduleGuid=f1341c34-99be-4e53-9bf2-d7d1c33e72f7
In addition to those two options we've also set up a paypal account. I
invite you to seek the Lord and look your personal budget to see if there
might be some money you can contribute to the Osterkamps.
Thank you all so much for reading!
-Tranica
Someone once pointed out to me how precious stories are. They have the
power to explain decade long wars, invite friends on an enticing
journey, and even allow us momentary relief by distracting our minds
from our current reality. Through stories we can gain motivation,
inspiration, and understanding.
My life story is something that cannot be taken away from me or
revised by any one person's back space button. Through my 23 years
I've experienced laughter, joy, heartbreak, & love. Although some
seasons were harder or longer than I would have liked I can't deny
that they have shaped me into who I am today. My life has been marked
by Grace through Jesus Christ and I am believe that God the Father is
the ultimate provider and protector.
For the past seven years my life story has been enriched by my friend
Becky. She has been near during my largest loses and biggest heart
breaks. She has stood by me through the drama of high school and the
ever changing process of figuring out who I am. Despite any
geographical distance we have remained in each other's lives and are
constantly trying to reinventing ways to serve one another from afar.
Last summer Becky's mom Karen was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical
cancer. The decision was made to have Karen be on full time hospice
care. Through the many good days & many tough days the opportunity for
there to be healing and growth within Becky's relationship with her
mom was unlike any other season. Becky and her brother Kurt
volunteered to make many personal sacrifices to literally spent every
moment with their mom. Becky moved in with her mom & gradually cut
down her hours at work to the point of leaving her job last week,
all the while paying rent at her own apartment.
After months of progress and regression, tears, and sweet sweet
moments, the Lord welcomed Karen into her eternal home in Heaven this
morning. We rejoice knowing she is no longer hurting & are so excited
to think about the peace she is experiencing now.
As unimaginable as it is for folks our age, now comes the process of
experiencing her passing while figuring out final details. As a firm
believer of the encouragement and strength that is found within The
Body of Christ, this is where I'm hoping you come in. If you are one
to pray, pray. Dedicate some time to intercede on behalf of Becky &
her brother Kurt. Ask the Lord to continue to make Himself known, to
protect them in this process, and to provide anything they need from
food, to money, to encouragement.
If you live in the OC area I'd love if you'd join me to contribute by
cooking a meal or two. Below you will find the link to a website
called FoodTidings. I am hoping to cover the next month's food for
Becky & Kurt & I cannot do it without you. It doesn't have to be
anything fancy or even home cooked because any little thing helps.
(copy and paste url)
http://www.foodtidings.com/SignUp.aspx?ScheduleGuid=f1341c34-99be-4e53-9bf2-d7d1c33e72f7
In addition to those two options we've also set up a paypal account. I
invite you to seek the Lord and look your personal budget to see if there
might be some money you can contribute to the Osterkamps.
Thank you all so much for reading!
-Tranica
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
God has allowed hard things in your life so you can show the world that your God is great and that knowing Him brings peace and joy.
I feel like I start a lot of blogs saying "its been a while since I have updated". Well, yet again, it has been a while!
I obviously will not be able to catch up with where I left off the last time so I will just write about what has been going on in my life lately.
This battle with my moms illness is tougher some days than others. We have had several nights where she does not feel like she is going to live through the night or week. She has had so much pain I don't even think I can imagine what she is going through though I see her day in and day out. As time goes on symptoms in her body are changing. She no longer can get out of bed, she has swelling in one or both legs sometimes, her back is achy and she can't sleep.
No matter what she still chooses to turn to the Lord. Her strength has encouraged me to rely on the Lord more than I ever have in my whole entire life! I could go on and on about things I feel the Lord is revealing to us. It truly is incredible how things change when the way you think changes. Our mind is so much more powerful than we are ever taught or could comprehend. I am so thankful I am learning the things I am learning at such a young age.
Don't get me wrong. There are times where I am questioning God, where I am angry, and don't see purpose in so much of this! And I still feel that way from time to time but we are just trying to battle this one day at a time and not giving up on HOPE. The Lord and hope is all we have to cling on to. By any means no matter what we do now her destiny is not in mine, my brothers, or her hands as much as we would like it to be.
Last week my co-worker Aimee approached some ladies from Mary-kay and told them what was going on with my family. Some of them are in the womens club of Fullerton and through them is a lady name Emily Yost who owns her own PR business her in fullerton. In short, this community of women I have never met at raising support for my family. Financial, emotional, and spiritual support. I got the opportunity to have lunch with Emily this past monday to just be able to get to know each other a bit. I feel like I have known her for years even though it has been just a few days. She came over the following day and met my mother as well. We spent a few minutes in prayer and the rest just talking. I am still amazed on how this all came together. This community of people that I don't even know wants to help us. I don't get it, but forever grateful!
Here is a link to a blog they put up on their website.
http://www.womenscluboffullerton.org/blog.php?id=12
Through this blog a man name Adam Townsend from Orange County register has approached Emily on getting my information and sharing the story in this Sundays paper. We will be meeting up with him tomorrow and we will see how that goes!
I obviously will not be able to catch up with where I left off the last time so I will just write about what has been going on in my life lately.
This battle with my moms illness is tougher some days than others. We have had several nights where she does not feel like she is going to live through the night or week. She has had so much pain I don't even think I can imagine what she is going through though I see her day in and day out. As time goes on symptoms in her body are changing. She no longer can get out of bed, she has swelling in one or both legs sometimes, her back is achy and she can't sleep.
No matter what she still chooses to turn to the Lord. Her strength has encouraged me to rely on the Lord more than I ever have in my whole entire life! I could go on and on about things I feel the Lord is revealing to us. It truly is incredible how things change when the way you think changes. Our mind is so much more powerful than we are ever taught or could comprehend. I am so thankful I am learning the things I am learning at such a young age.
Don't get me wrong. There are times where I am questioning God, where I am angry, and don't see purpose in so much of this! And I still feel that way from time to time but we are just trying to battle this one day at a time and not giving up on HOPE. The Lord and hope is all we have to cling on to. By any means no matter what we do now her destiny is not in mine, my brothers, or her hands as much as we would like it to be.
Last week my co-worker Aimee approached some ladies from Mary-kay and told them what was going on with my family. Some of them are in the womens club of Fullerton and through them is a lady name Emily Yost who owns her own PR business her in fullerton. In short, this community of women I have never met at raising support for my family. Financial, emotional, and spiritual support. I got the opportunity to have lunch with Emily this past monday to just be able to get to know each other a bit. I feel like I have known her for years even though it has been just a few days. She came over the following day and met my mother as well. We spent a few minutes in prayer and the rest just talking. I am still amazed on how this all came together. This community of people that I don't even know wants to help us. I don't get it, but forever grateful!
Here is a link to a blog they put up on their website.
http://www.womenscluboffullerton.org/blog.php?id=12
Through this blog a man name Adam Townsend from Orange County register has approached Emily on getting my information and sharing the story in this Sundays paper. We will be meeting up with him tomorrow and we will see how that goes!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
turn around
I feel like I have a lot of people in my life that i will always remain close to no matter how long I stay out of touch with and Bmax is one of the people. Yesterday morning I had to please to get breakfast with him and enjoyed some pumpkin pancakes over a good conversation. I am finding that my time away from my mom for short amounts of time are healthy for my mind well being, especially with people I care for so dearly. I am finding more and more that God is still using people to talk to me, to comfort me, and help me make handle everything in the best way possible.
Overall it was just a good day yesterday. After that I went to Herbies in uptown whittier and bought my mom some food items that will hopefully help her. Then Shannon came over and we got to take some good family pictures. Thank God she was able to feel good enough so that we were able to get together to take these pictures. That night I went to work and Megan and Mitch came by and visited. It was good to see my roommate that I barely see :( and to see Mitch who was out on the road for a few weeks. We ended the night back at our apt and had some good conversations then I returned to my moms that night.
Finally!!!!!
We met a doctor that i ACTUALLY like! :). I feel like most of the doctors I have come in contact with are not very realistic and are too book minded. This guy was awesome. He was very good at explaining things and made my mom, brother, and i feel really comfortable. My mom is on new pain meds now and this week she will be on hospice care from home. With this it will help our with some many different things along with keeping her pain levels to a minimal. It will do me a lot of good too because I won't feel like i am working all hours of the day and therefore help give time for my mom and I to actually hang out.
Tonight we drove out to Azusa to visit my aunt and uncle. It was nice for my mom to be out of her apt and get fresh air. I enjoy the company of my aunt and uncle very much.
Without the love and support with everyone around this whole process would be a thousand times more difficult. Please just keep us and her in your prayers. Thank you and Love you :)
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