A man who is God fearing.
A man who is intelligent.
A man with integrity.
A man that is serious when he needs to be.
A man that knows how to have fun.
A man that will challenge me.
A man that can appreciate the small things.
A man that wants to travel.
A man that is not afraid to be uncomfortable.
A man that is not materialistic.
A man who wants a family.
A man with a GENUINE heart.
A man that is adventurous.
I have high standards and this is the kind of guy I would like to marry.
A guy that is not like every other one out there.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Money
I only owe 950$ left on my student loan and 400$ to pay off on my vacation. I have set up a budget for myself this past month so I am not spending too much unnecessary money. I hope to have these things paid off around February of 2009. The only way to make that possible this time of year is to not spend to much this holiday season. I hope that my friends and family will be able to understand that. I just want to be debt free so that I am able to freely travel.
I got an email last week from I.S.V but I don't think that I will be working with them next summer. It is pretty expensive and i don't have the means right now. It is something that I would like to take into consideration for the future.
I got an email last week from I.S.V but I don't think that I will be working with them next summer. It is pretty expensive and i don't have the means right now. It is something that I would like to take into consideration for the future.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
bren.
I had a really great night last night in L.A. with Maricela just driving around the area. It was a very spontaneous thing for us to go there. It was nice to get out of the city for the night to just drive around. When we were on our way home I just got into a crappy mood and that was for no particular reason. It was just one of those moments that I was "thinking" which most of the time is not good for me. When I got home Bren had asked me over and over what was wrong with me. I told her numerous time that nothing was up and that I was fine. She didn't believe me whatsoever but I guess thats why she is my best friend. There are time where I feel like she knows me better than I know myself. It was wrong of me to just lie and say nothing was wrong instead of saying I didn't want to talk about it. Somehow we got back on that talk tonight before we went to Andy's house and I shed a few tears. Lately I have been more vulnerable than I have ever been. So much of it is because I use to just let things sit inside of me and not let them come out. I want to be at a healthy state in my life where I can be comfortable in who I am and the feelings that I feel. I asked Brenda to keep me accountable with some personal things. She is always there to give me the words of encouragement that I need. I am very thankful for that and for her.
I need to set little goals that I can achieve instead of a bunch of big goals and setting up myself for failure.
I need to set little goals that I can achieve instead of a bunch of big goals and setting up myself for failure.
Ha.
I just looked through my old melodramatic journal. It was pretty humorous to read about what I was writing about when I was in high school. I love looking back at that kind of stuff and seeing how much I have grown. The places I have been, and how I have been stretched. I know in a few years I will be saying the same thing about this journal. A huge reason why I like to jot down my present life or things on my heart are so I can reflect on these things.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A good book.
I want to read a new book. I don't know what though. I seem to start books and don't finish them often enough. Reading is good and it stimulates the mind.
Suggestions???
Suggestions???
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
off topic as usual...
Standing up for myself has always been something I have not been terrible good at. As I get older and grow within myself I am understanding the importance in doing so. With only working three days a week the past two weeks busyness has not given me the excuse of putting my emotions and heart aside. On the outside this is a very calming time in my life, perhaps the most easy going since high school. On the other hand it is quite the opposite on the inside. It for sure is not a bad thing. So many aspects in my life are being challenged right now but I know with my faith and reliance in God, He will guide me in places that I never thought I would be.
Bren told me this quote from Winston Churchill "when your going through hell keep on going". In any way I am not saying that I am going through hell but I know I have definetly been shaken.
Bren told me this quote from Winston Churchill "when your going through hell keep on going". In any way I am not saying that I am going through hell but I know I have definetly been shaken.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Crutch
My relationship with my mom is difficult to say the least. I have come to a point in my life where I desire to have a better bond with her. Especially having the absence of my father magnifies that desire even more. It gets rather challenging having to be the one that is the crutch when I am the youngest one in my immediate family. I am still trying to figure out the role that I am suppose to be playing in my mothers life. Sounds pretty funny doesnt it? There is a reason why I didnt grow up with a so called "normal family". Even though it is something that I question time will unfold the purpose in this. Until then I know I need to remain strong, comppasionate, and patient towards her. It is one the most troublesome elements in my life nonetheless it wil be something that will edify me.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Hawaii
I finally went on my vacation to Hawaii. I got back just a few days ago and somewhat wish I didnt have to leave paradise. The scenery of the Island was just absolutely stunning. I definitely plan on going back due to the fact that there are still many places on that island I would like to visit/see. I didnt get a chance to visit pearl harbor, halawea falls, or diamond head. The whole time I was there I was just in awe of how big God really is by just taking a glimpse around.
I am slowly trying to over come some of my fears, one of them being heights. I went parasailing
I am slowly trying to over come some of my fears, one of them being heights. I went parasailing
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