bren.

I had a really great night last night in L.A. with Maricela just driving around the area. It was a very spontaneous thing for us to go there. It was nice to get out of the city for the night to just drive around. When we were on our way home I just got into a crappy mood and that was for no particular reason. It was just one of those moments that I was "thinking" which most of the time is not good for me. When I got home Bren had asked me over and over what was wrong with me. I told her numerous time that nothing was up and that I was fine. She didn't believe me whatsoever but I guess thats why she is my best friend. There are time where I feel like she knows me better than I know myself. It was wrong of me to just lie and say nothing was wrong instead of saying I didn't want to talk about it. Somehow we got back on that talk tonight before we went to Andy's house and I shed a few tears. Lately I have been more vulnerable than I have ever been. So much of it is because I use to just let things sit inside of me and not let them come out. I want to be at a healthy state in my life where I can be comfortable in who I am and the feelings that I feel. I asked Brenda to keep me accountable with some personal things. She is always there to give me the words of encouragement that I need. I am very thankful for that and for her.

I need to set little goals that I can achieve instead of a bunch of big goals and setting up myself for failure.