Moving

I am no longer going up to Portland, Seattle, or Vancouver. I am completely okay with this and I know I will make it up there. Hopefully sooner than later. I did extend my road trip with Meleca by a couple of days so I will enjoy some good quality time with her before she goes off to grad school.

This week I will be moving out of my mothers house. I thought I would be able to last longer than I am going to. I think it is the healthiest decision for us both. It makes it difficult to live in a place where you have no space and that itself does not help the relationship between my mom and I. From this point on I am going to try to be a better daughter to my Mom. I take for granted that I have a mother because of the relationship/bumps in the road we had while I was growing up. I want to love my Mom and I want to be a good daughter. This means making the best decisions that will help that. For now this means moving out. Maybe I will live with her again in a few months or in a year. Who knows?? I am realizing more and more that I have held on to how my brother and mom treated me while growing up. This has created underlying negative feeling towards them. I am ready to give all that up now that it is brought to my attention and be a better sister and a better daughter to my family. I want to be able to love. I want to be able to love with a pure heart. I care about them so much so it is time for me to let go.