Sometimes all I want are answers. I am so confused and everything seems so blurry. I have been wrestling with this issue for a couple months now and I still can't figure out what to do. I have been in prayer about it and sometimes feel like I got the answer and other times it is just so unclear. I made the decision to let it go for now but I am having a hard time with it. As time goes on it gets a bit easier and easier but it is still not easy.
Part of me knows why things played out the way they did and other parts of me feels like there are so many unanswered questions.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Just a quick post.
Things in my life have settled down quite a bit since last month till now.
My Mom started radiation therapy this past monday and will be doing it five days a week for the next month. There is a 50/50 chance that this treatment will work but if it does it will prolong her life for a few years. Even though there is no way of getting rid of the cancer there is certainly a chance it will be stopped/slowed down. I have such a peace in my heart that everything will be taken care of. I have already been able to see the work that God has done in this.
As for now, I have really learned to take everything day by day and not worry about it in the long run. I am embracing life right now and take it for what it is. This had made everything so much better.
Again, I don't think I could say this enough and I will say it over and over. Friends, you truly are the best!!! I am so amazed by how much I am cared for from all of you.
My Mom started radiation therapy this past monday and will be doing it five days a week for the next month. There is a 50/50 chance that this treatment will work but if it does it will prolong her life for a few years. Even though there is no way of getting rid of the cancer there is certainly a chance it will be stopped/slowed down. I have such a peace in my heart that everything will be taken care of. I have already been able to see the work that God has done in this.
As for now, I have really learned to take everything day by day and not worry about it in the long run. I am embracing life right now and take it for what it is. This had made everything so much better.
Again, I don't think I could say this enough and I will say it over and over. Friends, you truly are the best!!! I am so amazed by how much I am cared for from all of you.
Friday, August 14, 2009
My Mom
It has been diagnosed. It is stage 4 cervical cancer. This means that it is not curable and it has reached her bone, however treatable. She had it ten years ago and caught it in its first stage and got rid of it, but it has come back. There is no telling if it was from last time or just started over.
The past week has been a huge challenge for me and my faith. In the midst of all this I know I need to focus myself on Him. It is getting quite difficult in a situation like this. He has made me strong my whole life and it's not going to change now.
I thank Him for the people He has placed in my life because without them I know I would be in a much darker place.
I could sit here all day and ask why? But there is purpose. It doesn't mean I know what it is right now or I that I even need to know. In time it will be revealed.
I don't want to turn away no matter how rough things will get. God is good, gracious, and loving. He can do more than I can imagine or ask for.
It's hard, real hard.
Thank you for your prayers and support for my family.
The past week has been a huge challenge for me and my faith. In the midst of all this I know I need to focus myself on Him. It is getting quite difficult in a situation like this. He has made me strong my whole life and it's not going to change now.
I thank Him for the people He has placed in my life because without them I know I would be in a much darker place.
I could sit here all day and ask why? But there is purpose. It doesn't mean I know what it is right now or I that I even need to know. In time it will be revealed.
I don't want to turn away no matter how rough things will get. God is good, gracious, and loving. He can do more than I can imagine or ask for.
It's hard, real hard.
Thank you for your prayers and support for my family.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My friends.
Philippians 4:4 says to
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again:
Rejoice!"
I will trust in Him no matter what. He is my strong force and keeps me going.
There is a lot going on right now so if I seem to be short with anyone or don't have much time to talk please don't take it personal.
Thank you to those that have been there with me to encourage me and just give me an ear. You know who you are! I am thankful for all your love and support. Honestly it means more to me than you could ever know.
I love you.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again:
Rejoice!"
I will trust in Him no matter what. He is my strong force and keeps me going.
There is a lot going on right now so if I seem to be short with anyone or don't have much time to talk please don't take it personal.
Thank you to those that have been there with me to encourage me and just give me an ear. You know who you are! I am thankful for all your love and support. Honestly it means more to me than you could ever know.
I love you.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Time spent in Colorado/Iowa thus far...
This past thursday Meleca and I got the chance to explore the cities of Denver and Boulder in Colorado. Both so different, yet similar in a sense. Colorado has got to be one of the most beautiful places I have ever been! I don't think that words or pictures could really describe it's beauty unless you see it with your own eyes. There were waterfalls everywhere, tons and tons of trees, beautiful homes, and nice chilly weather in the summer.
When we were in Denver we walked around a well known outdoor mall on 16th street then had lunch a restaurant called Steubens recommended by Nate. If you are ever in the area for some reason you should go there and have their mac n' cheese...soo good!
After walking around Denver for a while we met up with Crystal and she took us into Boulder. We walked at least four miles around that town! This place was filled with bike riders, small bridges, and hippies. I hear it is pretty comparable to Portland.
-Thank you so much to Crystal and Jill for your hospitality in opening up your home to us and taking us around. We had a blast!
Iowa...oh Iowa. You are nothing what I expected of you. My initial thought of the drive to Iowa is that it was going to be very boring and ugly. Although it was not as pretty as Colorado it was really green! We saw miles and miles of corn fields on the way here...(mel is bound to work on a corn farm). Indeed it was a long drive though. On our way out we went about 25 miles in the wrong direction to only turn right back around. That added on at least an hour to our 12 hour drive. Not to mention there was an hour added for the time change.
Today was a pretty eventful day here in Iowa. We drove around all the surrounding cities, went to the Kolana cheese, an Amish grocery store, learned how to ride a small motor cycle, mowed the lawn (....eh kinda), had delicious ice cream at a ma and pop shop and much more. I enjoyed today a lot. Melecas family has been soooooo good to us! It is a blessing to have her friends and family house/take care of us.
Here are some pictures to look at. They are more exciting than my writing. Yet again they didn't post in the right order...ah oh well.
Just one of the many little bridges in Boulder.
Its a good thing I packed a "just in case" sweater. It rained all day. I must say it was a nice change from the hot weather.
In the back ground is the 16th street mall. You can't tell at all how sweet of a place it was. Just take my word for it.
By the Capital
On our way to Denver
Classic Mel face. She was terrified of this thing and wouldn't take it off the grass.
Taste testing one of the million cheeses there were.
In front of Kolona cheese
It is difficult to get a good shot of the back ground when you don't have someone to take the picture for you.
I was laughing so hard because this thing just makes you bounce so much!
Yea, she was scared of this one too.
Taking it to the streets.
Theres a first time for everything.
Mels awesome aunt and uncle
We both got a chance to use a manuel one too...ha this was fun.
When we were in Denver we walked around a well known outdoor mall on 16th street then had lunch a restaurant called Steubens recommended by Nate. If you are ever in the area for some reason you should go there and have their mac n' cheese...soo good!
After walking around Denver for a while we met up with Crystal and she took us into Boulder. We walked at least four miles around that town! This place was filled with bike riders, small bridges, and hippies. I hear it is pretty comparable to Portland.
-Thank you so much to Crystal and Jill for your hospitality in opening up your home to us and taking us around. We had a blast!
Iowa...oh Iowa. You are nothing what I expected of you. My initial thought of the drive to Iowa is that it was going to be very boring and ugly. Although it was not as pretty as Colorado it was really green! We saw miles and miles of corn fields on the way here...(mel is bound to work on a corn farm). Indeed it was a long drive though. On our way out we went about 25 miles in the wrong direction to only turn right back around. That added on at least an hour to our 12 hour drive. Not to mention there was an hour added for the time change.
Today was a pretty eventful day here in Iowa. We drove around all the surrounding cities, went to the Kolana cheese, an Amish grocery store, learned how to ride a small motor cycle, mowed the lawn (....eh kinda), had delicious ice cream at a ma and pop shop and much more. I enjoyed today a lot. Melecas family has been soooooo good to us! It is a blessing to have her friends and family house/take care of us.
Here are some pictures to look at. They are more exciting than my writing. Yet again they didn't post in the right order...ah oh well.
Just one of the many little bridges in Boulder.
Its a good thing I packed a "just in case" sweater. It rained all day. I must say it was a nice change from the hot weather.
In the back ground is the 16th street mall. You can't tell at all how sweet of a place it was. Just take my word for it.
By the Capital
On our way to Denver
Classic Mel face. She was terrified of this thing and wouldn't take it off the grass.
Taste testing one of the million cheeses there were.
In front of Kolona cheese
It is difficult to get a good shot of the back ground when you don't have someone to take the picture for you.
I was laughing so hard because this thing just makes you bounce so much!
Yea, she was scared of this one too.
Taking it to the streets.
Theres a first time for everything.
Mels awesome aunt and uncle
We both got a chance to use a manuel one too...ha this was fun.
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